Proud to be British!

This website, as you can tell has a lot of sh*t on it. I admit it, it does. But at it's heart is one British mans challenge to settle into life in America. I love America (well most of it), but above all else, I love Britain. I love Britain for many reasons. Here are some reasons why.....

• 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
• 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all the pins from new shirts.
• 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
• 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
• 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
• British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
• 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
• 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
• A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
• 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

and finally.........

• In the year 2000, eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Well God Save the Queen and RULE BRITANNIA!!

Jesus is a soccer fan - part 2

You remember this? http://marinadazza.blogspot.com/2005/11/jesus-is-soccer-fan.html
Well, seems like other people have taken it to the next level. I am proud to bring you (via someone else's blog), Church signs in abudance!
http://robotsversusninjas.blogspot.com/2005/11/what-hell-two-posts-in-one-day.html

Got Turkey? Plenty thanks!

Thanksgiving. A great American tradition. My friend JJ described it as "Settlers come, don't know what to do through the winter, share food with the natives. Then because they dont have any meaningful way of documentating land ownership, they promise to eventually pay them back." Can't tell he is going to be a lawyer can you?

Well thats all well and good. And from those humble beginnings with the natives, it has turned into a food and family fest. Families get together around this time every year, and celebrate this great landmark of American history. In addition, they eat a sh*t load of food, drink a sh*t load of booze and end up arguing with the cousin they haven't seen since last year!

Well my thanksgiving experience was fantastic. Great food, great family and good friends (well for those that turned up and didn't cancel the the day before!) But, having eaten Turkey every day for the last 5 days since Thanksgiving, I am really glad it only comes once a year. Roll on Christmas, and errrr.... more turkey!

British Supermodel at it again!

You can't tell me Kate Moss isn't just a little bit stoned doing this!
(takes a minute to download)

The important things in life, and in a woman....

1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.
4. It is VERY important that these three women never meet.

Meeting Room Personalities

As part of my experience in cube land, we are forced to endure hours upon hours of endless meetings about...... carpet fitting. Actually thats not true. In fact the topics are usually something more connected to the business I am in, but it might as well be carpet fitting for all the attention I seem to pay to it. Although today was slightly different. Instead of listening to the fundamentals of why shag pile is more hard wearing than tweed (I think?), my mind wondered to something a little more important. Have you ever noticed the subtle personalities that seem to appear in meetings? One minute you are surrounded by your relatively normal colleagues, and the next, you are dealing with nuances of Meeting Room Personalities!

The Talker:
The person that likes to be the focus of attention, or always in the conversation. Do they really know that much about all those types of carpets, or are they full of carpet BS?

The Whisperer(s):
The most common meeting room trait. The person that spends most of the time drooling on the shirt collar of the person next to them, offering amusing anecdotes and innuendo on what the presenter is saying. Often seen moving around the room to continue the behaviour. Whisperers can usually be seen congregating together around the room.

The Confused:
There is usually one, and they are easy to spot, the only person in the room looking as bemused as a Polar Bear in a Penguins only dinner party.

The Nodder:
Incessant, constant, and uncontrollable NODDING! Whether it is about a major new development, the future strategy, or whether it is time to take a bio break and chow down on a cookie! This behaviour is usually a cover up of 'The Confused' (see above).

The Know it All:
Needs no introduction, but every meeting has one. Likes to rotate around the room, interrupt, and generally derail the meeting to ensure it runs over by at least 3 hours!

The Sleeper:
ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Yup, you guessed it. May look awake, but really dreaming of a Caribbean island, Pamela Anderson and a ton of Jell-O!

The Faux Sleeper:
Always looks like they are asleep, or at least very disinterested in the whole carpet discussion. The Faux Sleeper is the arch enemy of the Know it All. As the Know it All observes a potential Sleeper in their midst, they move in for the kill with a question so cunning, it could have just been named Dean of Cunning at the Cunning University! However, the Sleeper turns into the Faux Sleeper in a flash, and answers the question comprehensively, concisely and leaves the Know it All grasping for their chair in retreat!

The Laptop Nazi:
God forbid anyone dare be using their laptop in the meeting when the goose stepping Nazi wonders around to your corner of the room. Their displeasure often manifests itself through shouting, swearing, laughing or even just closing the screen down on your fingers! Either way, "You Vill cloze ur labtopf, or u vill be shot!!!!"

The Tapper:
Whatever happens, this person just has to continue working through the entire meeting. Tap Tappety Tap! There may indeed be a real reason why they need to send that e-mail, but when everyone else is being patrolled by Herr Commandant Laptop Nazi, this person creates the most amount of 'angst' in the room than any other personality - "Well if he gets to e-mail, why can't I?"

The TT (Technical Tit):
If there is a technical problem, the TT will fix it! Well, maybe they will fix it, maybe they will make it worse, but whatever happens, when there is a technical issue, they will wade in with both hands ready to wipe your hard drive and destroy the inFocus machine in one foul swoop!

In summary, to all you people out there about to enter your next meeting... be afraid, be very afraid!! You never know when you might meet one of these characters. I would suggest having a plan in place on how to avoid these meetings! Because, lets face it, carpet fitting is not that interesting anyway!

The secret to marriage and divorce....

.... find a woman you hate, and give her a house!
Voila!

Europe rules the airwaves

Without a doubt, there are some great bands and artists in America. But, for dance, house and lounge music, Europe spanks America's ass! If you get bored of your current music selection and you are frought with worry about what to listen to?

This is the best thing to keep you going http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/dance/

Click on Pete Tong and his pre-recorded 'Essential Selection'. It is without doubt THE VERY BEST in dance music. (This week is actually Judge Jules stepping in for Pete, and it is a great set as well!). It even gets me dancing in cube land at work, which I am sure is an interesting sight for all my colleagues!

Check it out, if you are into Dance music, you wont be disappointed!!! COME ON!!!
DJ Dazza!

Vegas - The adult Disneyland

Genius! Pure Genius! Having spent some time in Vegas, I wholeheartedly agree! Come on black!



And while I am on the subject, Vegas. What a place. On the ad's for Disneyland, they describe it as 'Like no place on Earth'. And it may be, but Vegas, is like no place on any other planet either! Think of it as the 'adult' Disneyland. With gamblers, strippers and very few people wearing fake mouse ears!

The British are way behind when it comes to entertainment like this. Blackpool just doesn't cut it! This place has everything. It has the gambling of course which we all know and love (well some of us end up hating, right Aaron?). But it also has fabulous bars and restaurants (plus clubs of course.... and diamonds, spades and hearts ;-), it has pools and jacuzzi's, it has suites and penthouses, it has strippers and ATM's all within close proximity! Which comes in handy for some people.

Yes Vegas has a lot of things to entertain you. I highly recommend you pay it a visit, for a few days at least. If you choose the right crowd, I can guarantee you will have the best experience. And after the best experience, of no sleep, enough alcohol to pickle your liver and enough food to feed a starving family for a week, you will realise that at the end of the day, the best thing about Vegas, is when you finally leave it!

Jesus is a soccer fan!

See :-)

Create your own blasphemous comment HERE, that would bring the wrath of 'JC' himself down on you!

Alternatively, you could create something so heavenly that the angels themselves will come down and and give you a foot massage!

Whatever floats your boat!

Products that change the world.

Every once in a while, a product comes along that is so innovative, it changes the face of the market. Products such as the original Apple iPod and all it's incarnations, have made such a huge impression on the market and society as a whole, that you can barely walk 50 metres down the street before you see someone wearing a set of those easy identifiable white headphones.

You add this innovative product to an aggressive and perceptive marketing machine (our recognition of Apple ad's is instantaneous), and you end up with probably one of the most successful products ever. This is backed up by the stock price for Apple!

Now there is a new product out there, that could have the same impact. Not quite in the same realm as the Apple iPod, and more towards the 'parents' market..... but still, it could be big!

The best damn dummies on the market!

The truth about Hetracil

I know you were all intrigued out there about my previous post 'They say there is a pill for anything these days', detailing the faux miracle of 'Hetracil'. Well I am pleased to confirm to my audience (Hi Mum!), that it is actually a fake! Of course we all knew that.

Check out the real story and an interview with it's author here!

Language Lessons 3 - Drinking

Drunken antics! Here is where our two countries are generally the same. In Britain, drunken behaviour usually leads to an embarrassing moment with a female in a bar following a corny pick up line, followed by screaming at the guy that just bumped into you, threatening to "rip his fookin' head off!". The night then culminates with munching on a kebab.

There is something very amusing about being drunk, in that it affects your speech and language in new and interesting ways. Strange that even after you have downed many drinks, you still believe that you can hold a normal conversation with the person next to you. At the time, you feel you are engaged in a stimulating and interactive conversation with your friend, when in reality, you are shouting expletives at them whilst you have them in a head lock saying "I f*ckin love you man!"

So the next time you are out with your friends, as you descend further into your alcoholic stupor, see if you can muster enough semblance of order in your brain for these:

DIFFICULT WORDS TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK:
* Specificity
* Indubitably
* Innovative
* Preliminary
* Proliferation
* Cinnamon

IMPOSSIBLE WORDS TO SAY WHEN YOU ARE DRUNK:
* No, I don't want another drink.
* No kebab for me thank you.
* Sorry, but you're not good looking enough for me.
* Good evening officer.
* I am not Interested in fighting you.
* No one wants to hear me sing.
* Thanks, but I don't want sex.

In the news today - Cheerleaders kick ass

Not only do they have Pom-Poms and shake their booty, but they also get up to mischief in the bathroom! Go Girls Go!

Kate Moss is back with avengence!

Supermodels in America are just like those in the UK. In fact, we Brits are all very proud of our Kate Moss. Not for the fact that she is a good looking bird, she is OK in that respect, but not my type. But I like her because she has come out of a brief rehab for drug addiction and thrown herself back into what she does best. No, she hasn't been caught doing the Columbian love-train again.

In fact she is using her fame for good, associating herself with a new and exciting product. I know what you are thinking.... Calvin Klein maybe, Giorgio Armani? Nope, she is reaching out to all regular woman with THIS new product!!! (Thanks for the file EL!)

Good luck on that one Kate!

Oh yes, she is doing some modelling again too!

Factoids & Fun - Particularly for the pigs!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it does it? Starbucks are not worried!)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig!)

Interlude contemplation: How did they figure that one out? and why?

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Great. But still can't get over that pig thing.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

Interlude contemplation: So, pigs getting 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair to me.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmm.....thats what I’m talkin’ about!)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of....what exactly?)

Interlude contemplation: Did taxpayers pay for this research?

Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? Did they ask them?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes…. 30 minutes…..can you imagine?? And why pigs for gods sake??)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death. (OK that’s disgustingly creepy.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Hi Honey, I'm home. What the F**k….")

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I STILL want to be a pig...quality over quantity! But it's still good to be a lion.)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (That’s, err, disgusting and almost as bad as catfish)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (Reminds me of some people I know!)

Starfish don't have brains. (Reminds me of some people I know!!!)

So based on all these little snippets of information, after contemplating all the details, all I can say is.............Lucky pigs!

I was kidnapped this weekend!

Glossary of Terms:
(1) Stella: Stella Artois premium lager/beer. Almost impossible to drink just one. AKA: The fighting drink.
(2) The Thirst: That overwhelming desire that can only be quenched with copious pints of Stella (see above). Often leads to boisterous shouting of opinions and extremely irrational arguments.
(3) Spoof: A game to decide who has to go and collect the Burrito’s following an attack of 'the thirst' (see above). Usually results in Gidders being reprimanded for ‘gloating’.

A regular Saturday morning began with me waking from my slumber having had 4 hours of sleep and heading out for a game of golf. Little did I know when I left that morning, that by the time I had returned and agreed to a quick pint of Stella(1) with my fellow golfers that afternoon, that I would be kidnapped. Not only was I held against my will, I was made to do unspeakable things, and my fiancee was forced to rescue me.

My ordeal began when I realised that my fellow golf partners had developed ‘the thirst’(2) following a bad day on the links. The first signs of this ‘thirst’ behaviour came when I noticed we were giving one golfer some very very good advice, sadly not about his golf game, more importantly it was about how to ‘woo’ a woman. This included generally not telling the prospective date, that “You would never find me in the kitchen cooking a meal!”. This we pointed out, is generally recognised to be a bad idea. But even I did not fully anticipate the fate that awaited me. A dark corner of Chestnut street (AKA. The end of the bar in The Horseshow) was to become my new home for what seemed like an eternity.

From here, the details get a little fuzzy, due to the trauma (and the alcohol). From what I can remember, I was physically manhandled on to a bar stool and made sure I couldn’t move. I was forced to adjudicate a game of ‘Spoof’ (3) which had serious repercussions for the gloaters in the group, and I was forced TOTALLY against my will to down shots of Bushmills whiskey in-between pints of Stella. My kidnappers quickly degenerated into much shouting about football and further advice on “what women really want!”.

The good news, is that my release was eventually secured by my chief negotiator – AKA. the Missus! She had to use all her powers of persuasion and cunning (as well as a lot of patience) to secure my release. I can tell you, it was a harrowing experience. What is even more frightening, is that I received a threatening voicemail yesterday, implying that I would be kidnapped again next week. From now on, I am carrying a Tazer… and hollow boots!

It's all about Marketing - Part 2

Every once in a while, someone makes an advertisement that makes you smile. The Bud Light ad's at the Superbowl, or anything by Trojan! Here is a great Ad by Sony on the Streets of San Francisco. Very Cool.

They say there is a pill for anything these days.

My friend Davos sent me this website. He says he got it from a friend, but I am starting to wonder :-) http://www.hetracil.com/
Personally, I never knew things like this existed, and I am quite disturbed that they do. Since when is being homosexual, a disease that you need to take a pill for? I honestly thought this was a joke, a spoof website set up by the writers of Jackass or something.

Look at the FAQ on the site, it says that "one of the long-term goals of treatment is to keep Homosexuality from troubling you again." Now I have friends who are homosexual, and I am not sure they believe it is a 'trouble' for them. In fact I am sure they are out enjoying life and having very little trouble with their sexuality at all!

I wonder how this product came on the market, and who thought they could 'cure' homosexuality like it is a bout of the flu? I also wonder, does it come with a Doctors warning that states:

Side effects of taking Hetracil may include:
* Turning you into (or back into) a rampant heterosexual where you feel the need to kill small animals and roast them over a fire with wood you just chopped from a giant redwood!
* May also bring on bouts of manly conversations about cars, football and 'shagging birds'.
* Will probably cause you to fart violently 14 times a day in a very humourous way.

Although now I think about it, if it does achieve these kinds of things, there are some heterosexual guys I know that could also do with a good dose! Good luck ladies!

There's only one!

There is only one story worthy of being published on Sunday!

THIS ONE!

Get in there!

Whatever happens, just be.....

Sometimes in your life, things come along (whether they be people or situations) that really cause you to stop and think! In fact, you have to stop and think how you should approach these people and situations, to ensure you can handle it in the best way possible.

Unfortunately, assuming 'ceteris paribus' is not always going to help you. Outside forces are at work to screw up situations, and some people, are just plain vindictive! I believe that whatever happens, whatever life throws at you, from A to Z..... just be.....

Be aware
Be brave
Be creative
Be decisive
Be excitable
Be free
Be generous
Be happy
Be insightful
Be jovial
Be kind
Be loving and loved
Be motivated
Be noble
Be outrageous
Be provocative
Be quintessential
Be respectful
Be sober (sometimes!)
Be thrilling
Be useful
Be vital
Be wise
Be-not xenophobic

Above all....

Be Yourself

(and to complete the series - Be zealous :-)

Cultural differences and the weather!

In Europe, people are obsessed with the weather. In fact, even when the Europeans come to America, they remain obsessed with the weather. If you ever start a conversation with someone from Europe (particularly the British), and you engage in the meaningless banter at the start of the conversation before you get to the point, I guarantee, that the European person will mention the weather. i.e.

American: "Hey how are you doing?"
European: "Yeah not bad actually, weather is pretty good, so I am happy!"

For some reason, we are all obsessed with the weather. In fact, on one of my first visits to the US when I was a kid, my Uncle spent 4 hours watching the weather channel. Why? well we were in Florida, so we needed to know the humidity level in Arkansas!!! Here are some more examples of cultural difference around the weather.

40 degrees Centigrade
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Ireland sunbathe.

35 degrees
Italian cars won't start.
People in Ireland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees
Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Ireland throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees
Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Ireland go swimming.

Zero
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Ireland have the last barbeque before it gets cold.

10 degrees below
People in Miami cease to exist.
People in Ireland lick flagpoles.

20 degrees below
Californians move permanently to Mexico.
People in Ireland throw on a light jacket.

80 degrees below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Irish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival classes until it gets cold enough.

100 degrees below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Ireland pull down their ear flaps.

173 degrees below
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Ireland get frustrated when they can't thaw their beer kegs.

297 degrees below
Microbial life start to disappear.
Irish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 degrees below
All atomic motion stops.
People in Ireland start saying: :Here, is it chilly, or what?"

500 degrees below
Hell freezes over.
My friend Gavin (and all Irish people) support England in the World Cup.

Language Lessons 2

Follow up from yesterday's language lesson. For those that couldn't find the words in the Oxford English Dictionary, here is the American translation:

Gunt: A word to describe the culmination of a Gut with a (click here)
Fupa: Is an acronym for Fat Upper (click here) Area

Hope that helps, try and use the words in conversations, you won't be disappointed.

(Blog owner accepts no liability for offense caused or lack of sense of humour as a result of this content!)

Guest Post by Paul: Man sues after using glue covered toilet seat

Saw this on sfgate today and thought 1) why would you want to re-live the horror of being dragged through Home Depot with a toilet seat glued to your ass and 2) why would you want to admit to the world that you sit on a public toilet seat, bare assed, without wiping it down first and covering it with a protective layer of paper?!?!?

And now he's suing - Only in America!
(Editors note - Paul is American by the way)


Read the SF Gate story here

Language Lessons

I have engaged in many conversations with my American friends about the linguistic differences of our two countries. We speak 'proper' English - the Queens English, whereas the Americans use some weird colloquial version ;-) All this adds to the colourful tapestry that binds are countries together and makes our relationships so close. Well that and Tony Blair and George Bush planning to foster a Taiwanese love child. I digress. Differences have always existed in the language of our two countries. We spell 'Colour' with a 'u', and you spell 'Color' without it. We use an 's' in Optimise, and you use a 'z'. There are merits in both versions. However, I give credit to you Americans, for inventing two words that I feel should be added to every English person’s language forthwith. These are:

• GUNT
• FUPA

Ponder the pronunciation for a while, say them out loud a few times, let them roll of your tongue. Never have I heard a more descriptive way of describing this area in the past. I will try and use these in sentence structure to aid in your understanding.

Example 1
“Oh yes, I know that girl, she is a real gunt!”
Example 2
“Did you see her, she had a huge fupa!”

If anyone needs it, I will elaborate on the true meanings tomorrow. Stay tuned.

(Thank you to my ‘Mauna Loa’ drinking partners on October 14th for bringing this colourful language to my attention.)

I don't usually like Spam

But today is slightly different. Of course when I say Spam I mean the kind that comes through the e-mail, not the 'meat-like' substance you get from a can. Today I actually received something (Thanks Nx) that did make me smile, but I won't forward it on to 10 people as you usually have to do with Spam (and obviously I am risking 3000 years of bad luck and a plague of locusts eating my cabbage patch by not sending it on), instead I put it here for you all. I would credit the author, but like so many of these, they are sadly.... Anonymous.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO GREW UP & SURVIVED the 1930s '40s, '50s, '60s and '70s !!

* First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
* Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright- colored, lead-based paints.
* We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.
* As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
* Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat (if you were in America that is, because most other countries can not understand why people buy them!)
* We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
* We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and NO ONE actually died from this.
* We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
* We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.
* No one was able to reach us all day. And we were okay.
* We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes! After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
* We did not have Playstations, Nintendos, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video-tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS, and we went outside and found them!
* We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
* We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
* We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
* We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
* Little League had tryouts, and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
* The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

This generation has produced some of the best risk takers, problem solvers, and inventors ever The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

And YOU are part of it! CONGRATULATIONS!

You had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our "own" good. Show this to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

Two Great Things....

1. San Francisco
2. Jell-O

What happens when you put them together?

Click Here! The results are very bizarre!

Focus on the job in hand!

Seeing something like this, I would normally say.... 'Only in America!' However, this is in New Zealand. Kudos though to the Sofitel hotel for this bold move.

I foresee this investment going one of two ways:
1. Guys could be so unsettled that some bird is looking at their manhood as they try to urinate, they will be too nervous, and be in there for about 3 days trying to finish!
OR
2. Guys are going to love it and start posing infront of the urinals.... for about 3 days before they finish.

Either way, it is going to get busy in there! And most of us don't want to be hanging out in a busy urinal (George Michael excluded).

Thanks to Davos for bringing this to my attention. Check here for the original story